the sad sad life of mimi. so be ready. coz itz gonna be f*ckin' jiwang. *hahakzZZZ!!!!!
do u remember?
1st question..?? is it a mistake going back together? . .. ... a definite NO! so wat abt you? sometimes i wished u were just NORMAL..what i meant was in the right state of mind, not confused and finkled.
sometimes i wished u were like...
before i met u.. u wanted to talk to me coz i was sick, u wanted to listen to my "ROCK" voice. i was in-camp that time.it was the first time we talked. i remember that.. do u still do?
remember, i went to kent ridge with my bro and cuzzies, around early last year, we just started contacting each other. u're cuz was at ur hs, playing game o the computer, then u acted that u had a twin sister who was msging me. haha. i smiled everytime i remembered that.. do u still do?
the 1st time we met.. u were so quiet. i was so nervous. that the reason i smoked so much. u were short small and cute. we watched BEAN, went to PS to eat macdonalds,they ran out of fries so we had hashbrowns, that day i had stomach aches, aft that we went on to walk all the way to Memo,we walked all the way!!! i talked so much wen we reach there, u was so quiet, we watched my ns videos which u laughed all the way and i still smile thinking of it, i still can remember it soo well...do u still do?
the 1st time we met wen we were together... went to the starbucks at merlion,and sat at merlion... it was so akward that day... and from that day, i didnt realize that u could make me luv u soo much...
east coast,sentosa,zoo... we wanted to go bangkok but there was bombing everywhere. so we went to east coast,sentosa,and zoo.i spent my 3 days off with u,u were on holiday i still can remember..do u still do?
our 1st aniversary... we went MOS with naz,acitboy,tini and lin. naz and tini had a fight, and i still remeber that day...wen aft that we went to a bulding across to mos,coz i wanted to wish happy anniversary and happy birthday to u...a few days later u went to KL with ur family. wah i still remember u cut ur hair and reborn it,the auntie cut ur fringe,but u were still adorable...i remember more..do u still do?
a few days later... u went to IKEA and u caught me reading a newspaper wen i was at work. u suprised me that day. u were with hana. u neva told me that u were coming. i hugged u before u left coz the next day u were going to KL...i remembered that.. do u still do?
along the way... u hugged me wen u missed me...i luved that u called me bucuk i dont noe why...i luved that u make me change,so many ways...i luved that
if i could,everytime i wen to fetch u from work, i would buy u a drink and some chocolates,coz i noe u luved chocolates,do u remember that?
wen u left me... my mind keep repeating all that...remembering everything we did...keeps me awake every nite...
wen i saw u again aft 2 months... i was over the moon! was so damn happy. we talked and wen out. i luved every minute of it... u wanted a hug... we we did,i neva wanted to let go... i tried not to cry,coz i missed u too much... i was shocked, u kissed me...
what really make u change? i tot u were happy most of the time wen we were together? i tot we talked things out... u were laughing and smiling we we last met... whats the real reason? are u confused? did others say make u change ur mind? i cant believe u did this to me again... i didnt believe that u could change in a blink of an eye...
wen u ask for that hug... and wen we hugged... i could feel it... that deep down in ur heart... u still love me i told u before. i dont want anybody else. so im still here. watching u from afar. and IF anything happens to u and wen u are alone, i will always be by ur side. no matter wat u say to me, no matter wat u do to me, no matter wat happens..
i will always love u..
wen i saw u yesterday, i wasnt sober, but my heart was beating really fast,my hands started to shake,my eyes wanted to cry,i couldn't think..
so for nw,i just wait for u my princess... and hope u realize it, one day
Sunday, March 23, 2008 // 8:04 PM
again!!!!!!!
why do this to me again... u brought me up and smash me down again... how could u be so cruel... but how could i love u so much... how...
i wanna DIE
Thursday, March 20, 2008 // 7:26 PM
an idiot i am...
im such an idiot.. why do i feel hopeless without u... i guess i have to wait till u cool down... i've been waiting... since 2 months ago... and im gonna continue...
im sorry...
pls dont be mad at me? we were happy... together... remember?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 // 11:26 PM
sorry
i acted like a fool.. im sorry... i ask u to take it slow but i was the one rushing everything... im really sorry... maybe i just wanna make it rite again... coz without u i'm empty inside...
i guess that i need u so much i acted that way... **fuck alex,if not i could meet u tommorrow...
Monday, March 17, 2008 // 1:09 AM
take one step at a time...
it was 5 days ago. we talked, we contacted each other, we met...
it was the first time we met in nearly 2 months, it was weird, it was strange, i didnt talk to u tat much..but the truth was that, i was loving it...
i waited so long for the day. dun give up princess. its just 5 days. we must take our time. take one step at a time. we must let it grow back again slowly. dun rush it or we'll get it all wrong. it will take abit more time to adjust ourselfs again. take that chance aite...i noe u want to work it out, me too. im dying to work it out too.
i don't wanna lose u for the second time... please give us more time... we just only started back again...
"it was meant to be, don't deny it, we just need more time.." sorry i made u feel that way. partly it was my fault. i didnt mean to. i'll find one day for us to spend together aite. just the two of us. no one else... it'd be like last time, but better... i promise
dont think so much, take it easy coz im always here, things will be fine.. Juz give us time...
I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
Sunday, March 16, 2008 // 10:46 AM
i have black panda eyes...
still cant sleep well uh... only i myself will know why... but i've started eating well lately... eat alot uh...
played Football,its not soccer...with Cp,joe,naem,eugene,ming hui...and some others who i dun really know...hahaha... the ball hit my jaw,still painfull now,my leg is bengkak coz of my stupid shoe, it hit my jr too...hahaha...it was tiring but fun uh...
work have been getting really irritating lately. maybe becoz of alot of things that is happening. i wanna tell someone abt it, especially u, but i'm scared u get bored..hehe...
i went out tat day wit princess and we found this book about what u are if ur born on this or that day,really! i forgot the name of the book. i searched for mine uh...but i didnt really remember wat it wrote...haha...i didnt even get to read her's. coz she was shielding it so i wont read haha... but i found some at the net uh...somethings are quite true about me...hmmm MOST uh...haha
Your Personality Profile: You are passionate and loving, and very dedicated to those you love. Your sense of drama is large, and you are extremely perceptive. Love and companionship is important to you. Your motivation on the job is often fuelled by your sense of fulfillment in your personal life. If you are feeling loved and wanted, your productivity is at its peak. You easily absorb the emotions of others and the atmosphere of your environment.
so thats it..
it was weird, it was strange, but fuck it...i dont care wat the reasons are coz happiness has started growing again and i really enjoying every second of it...
Saturday, March 15, 2008 // 12:43 AM
greatest gift...
it like my feelings are jumbled up... suddenly its all so sad... mixed feelings... brings me up and down... i hate it...
Out of all the gifts in life however big or small, For you to forgive me and be together again would be the greatest gift of all....
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 // 11:45 PM
optimistic...
tomorrow it's our allahyarham halim kenduri... i can't make it... coz stupid Alex changed my shift to Full...
happy, yes today... coz maybe... someone have lighten up my day... thank you...
// 11:13 PM
a world of sacrifices
Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost you.On the outside, I'm living, pretending that I've forgotten you,You'll never understand why I hurt so much,because you're not the one who is crying,you're not the one who is left behind,you're not the one who loved too much, and you're not the one who is holding on to someone who is gone...
u brought the best out of me, u gave that shine that that light up my dark broken heart. it was broken thru the life that i wen thru. every hardship, every mistake, every sadness.u were the gem in my heart. why i put in so much hope, then and now. coz i loved the way my life was... coz i loved the way i changed... coz i loved the way i was living for something...
coz i loved u...
i dreamt us being happy, living together with our own kids, going everywhere together, just spending my life with u, till i give out my last breath... BUT i did have thoughts... what if money was the problem, what if i can't give u a good life, what if u had to work to live our life, what if i can't support u, what would we eat, would u suffer becoz i don'tbring enough food to fed u,myself my family...money mattered, i wanted u to have a good life, to have an easy one. i sacrifed everything to make that a reality. so u could be happy wen we settled down...
i thought that even though i miss u after not meeting u so many times, becoz of work, would pay off. i thought that if i worked hard and get lots of money would help us live a good life in the future.nearly everyday i would say that i miss u, u should remember that, but it was all for the future..
i was young, stupid and didnt care the world back then. i did tatoos, fight and took drugs. Fights and drugs are easy to let go. i can just walk off or stop taking drugs. but tatoos stay even though u still dont do it again. i did laser some...very little. it coz me a bomb. and i noe that i'll take it off someday, but i don't noe when. i wore big shirts to cover it all coz i hate them, i do not enjoy seeing it everyday. i'm embarress of myself.
after u left... i wasnt strong,never will be, becoz i'm not with u.my hopes and dreams were u. i lived my life becoz of u. i wasnt hardworking, i wasnt always home, i wasnt always good. but wen u were here, my world changed. i let u meet ibu,my family, to show them how much i loved u. ibu was already talking about marriage. she liked u. she sat beside u and always talk to u, remember?she was always talking about u. asking about u. i dreamt of u every nite. till today. sometimes i just kept tinking about u,s till i got insomnia. my eyes are still red now, still have that lack of sleep. i drank nearly everyday, hoping that it will make me sleep everyday, but its still useless... everyday when i go to work, i tot of u, all that hours of work, i worked for u.i hate going to work. coz it reminded me and was one of the reasons... everyday when i changed, i see my tatoo's.hoping that it will go away. coz it reminded me and was one of the reasons... everyday i see ur picture,in my wallet, coz i don't have the guts to take it out... everyday,everything reminded me of u... i'm not strong...i can't... u were my life. my everything. i cried everyday just asking why... i'm depressed... i can't move on... i'm willing to change the world to be with u... but why it seems impossible. i dun wanna meet others, they are not like u. i loved u like i loved ibu. no one could replace ibu. and no one could replace u.i'm just hoping to be together back again. to see ur smile... to feel that hug when u missed me... to have ur love that u used to give me...
i dont wanna be be anyone. i just wanna be with u. i rather not get married and take care of ibu. i just don't wanna do anything without u.
u had so much impact in my life. u were the one for me and will always be. i wanna make it right this time. can we give it another try? i'm human, i make mistakes and i will learn and change. i'm just begging u to give me a chance. a chance to love u again. i dun noe why im feeling this. please Nur Shafawati...why can't we be together? why can't i have that second chance? to be happy like we used to... i always hope u think about it... coz i always do...
please princess...
Monday, March 10, 2008 // 11:45 PM
what a week...
after 2 days im finally sober... i didnt mean to worry u... i didnt mean to say all that... i just.... love u too much... i'm sorry... but i really want us to be bck together again... why is it so imposible?
i do watever u say,i'll change i promise...
Sunday, March 09, 2008 // 10:42 PM
death...
Police officer killed in road accident By Channel NewsAsia Posted: 05 March 2008 2329 hrs
Photos 1 of 1
Al-Fateha~
SINGAPORE: A police officer was killed on Wednesday in an accident at the junction of Eu Tong Seng Street and Hospital Drive.
The 22-year-old's motorcycle was involved in an accident with a van at about 9.30am, while he was on his way to work at Parliament House.
Corporal Abdul Halim joined the police force in 2007, and was working under the Central Police Division.
Commissioner of Police Khoo Boon Hui has expressed his condolences to the family. - CNA/ac
i wen to his funeral... damn i cried... they even got his picture in The Straits Times. rest in peace my friend...
death made me realize how fragile life is...
dreams dreams dreams,i dont wanna sleep anymore coz i keep dreaming of u...i miss u... **i'll always be here for u no matter wad happens,i'll take my chance and wait even though it seem so imposible
Yang terindah terlukis di bibir mu Tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu sebegitu Pudar kah sudah cinta yang ku beri Bewarna warni segala Yang dijanjikan ia
(Korus) Usah biarku bersendirian Usah biar hati mu di tawan Usah biar diri ku disini Seorang menunngu tanpa teman
Usah lepas genggaman tangan mu Usah biar semua berlalu Usah terlupa perasaan hati Pertama kali kita bertemu Usah lepaskan
(Bridge) Tak mudah ku melupa segala yang berlalu Ku ingin selalu bersama mu
(Ulang korus)
Ku tak peduli apa sebabnya Engkau dan dia harus bersama Mendungnya langit bila berkata Kita patutnya masih bercinta Usah lepaskan Usah lepaskan
Yang terindah Terlukis di bibir mu Tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu Sebegitu…
Thursday, March 06, 2008 // 6:23 PM
im so cramped
i got so much work to do now,looking at what i haf to do is alot. new rules to start,sop's,paperworks...so much things to do. at least now i have some things to get my mind off missing you... today i went to the atm,i realize that my savings are all gone..$4000++. what did i do wit all that?? u don't wanna noe.the fact that u can noe is that, I'm B-R-O-K-E. that money was for my future,urs,ours...and i threw it all away
these few days i've got back my sleeping habits,but damn why wen i progress something stops me again. stop all these dreams. i dreamt of u..what the FUCK kan!!!makes me feel so bad wen i wake up.but it was nice dreaming of u coz its the only time that i could see u...and its the 3rd..one more time,what the FUCK kan!!!!but sometimes i still cant sleep,on certain days... we were happy together..but it was all a dream...
i went to watch the EYE,but it was boring.nevermind about the movie.there was JESSICA ALBA!!!!!!
&& why are people asking me if i'm taking drugs??? i just dont get a good nite sleep tats all for GOD's sake!
&&& stop asking me questions!!!
i needed a hug, i even dreamt of hugging, i'm in such a bad state that i just needed a hug.not a kiss, not a smile but a HUG... thanks for the hug girl,thanks for being my bestfriend,18 years of friendship,thank you
people start telling me to hate you... i could but i can't.. people start telling me to let go and move on... i tried but i can't..
why is it so hard. why is life so unfair to me. why when i worked so hard for it,it just let me down again and again.why have i tried everything but it comes down to nothing. why do i have this in my life? why do i have to suffer in my life?23 years and it has not changed.why do i have frens? why do i have a family? why do i have to live? when living doesn't bring me anything...
**u msged me for the first time since so long,gd nite to u too...
((may GOD bring u happiness and protect u where ever u are...amin~)) ((i'll always be here watching u from afar, and be beside u when ever u are alone..i will always love u))
Monday, March 03, 2008 // 11:49 PM
far away...
sometimes people can make u be the best person u could ever be.they change u drastricly, wen they are gone, people start to realize that u're becoming worst.i can't help it but why are people asking me so many questions. about my atitude,my behaviour,my temper,my mood. stop asking me all this questions!!!! i can't answer what all of u are asking me. what must i do. i'm just who i am. i tried like wat all of u ask me to do. but nothing has changed. so fuck it. i'm so frustrated. so disapointed. i find it soo hard. yeah.. i noe i've gotten worst in work, so? so wat? his is how i run my life now. no one could understand why. not ibu,not wak,not abg,not CP,not RY,not naz,not tasha,no one.this is the first time in my life i'm like this. others did not make me become like this. maybe this is the first time i noe,i tasted....
LOVE
u wouldn't even reply my mgs anymore...
seems like u're so so far away...
all these dreams these memories...
why can't they just get out of my mind..
i'm hurting,thats for sure...
i skipped work today for the first time,coz i wanted to be alone...
**why must it turn out this way,why? i still don't get it...
(i didn't mean to question our mighty GOD,but why is my life killing me? driving me insane? why must my hopes and dreams be shattered,when there was a chance to save it....)
Sunday, March 02, 2008 // 4:46 PM
the ONE
Mimi a.k.a Botak...
21 going 22
weird...
gila...
biol...
tak hensem...
hitam...
u noe black....
gelap...
hodoh...
buruk...
i'm 1.81m...
u must be short...
hahaha...
sum say i look like a nerd...
sum say im slenge...
loud...
most of the time funny....
sumtimes lame...
can't be denied...
tak betul...
loves cars...
weird...
emo...
hahaha...
tats mi...
mimi...
mimi the botak guy at sch tat time...
so...
there u go...
...